wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
