what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
