dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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