another moral hangover. fuck.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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