He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
