Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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