I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
