The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
