How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
