Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
