I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
