She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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