White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
