I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
