good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize