Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
this is an emotional support booty call
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
