I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize