Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
