Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she looked like the before picture.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Is it because I queefed?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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