Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
