He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
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