Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Is it because I queefed?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize