Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We need to get me chipped asap
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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