I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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