i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
