I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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