i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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