i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
