My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
