Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
