whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
