In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
