am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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