I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Dear god my vagina.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
