Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
