im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
