isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
