Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So squirting runs in the family.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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