just tell him i said nine months
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just gargled with NyQuil
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
