Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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