You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
