i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
