Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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