margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
