I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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