My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
