Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
