I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize