I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
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