No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
