oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
