Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
