whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
