i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
