I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
