I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
