ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
