you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
