i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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