Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
