would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
