look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
