if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Randomize
