Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
