oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize