i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
