Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
