Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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