I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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