your parents love me but you hate me
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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