I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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