If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
